Wow. Two posts in two days. What a very boring week this is turning out to be…
Prompt: Explain why jaws eats the people. Make me pity him.
Prompt writer, you are trying to make me write evil things…
The People: Eat us, Jaws. Just eat us.
And the rest is history.
Alright, alright. That was just unacceptable. Ahem! Mommy made me mash my m n ms on Molly. Getting my typing hands ready. They are getting ready. Steady..steady. They are almost in shape. Gotta place their thinking caps on. Tiny little thinking caps. So cute. Annnd..Ready.
It was an average day. A day in which, as usual, Freddy didn’t want to go to the Underwater Acadamy. But he couldn’t tell his mother. Freddy’s mother, you see, was the head of the academy and if he was to tell her about the numerous bullies she was helping get into college, she’d probably have a nutty. Maybe all over him. And so the cap at the end of the bed was slowly placed on. Fin slippers next. Freddy figured that if he planned his morning rituals with precision and careful attention to slowing down the processes, he could miss a certain number of bullies each morning. Not all, but some. There were Charlie and Sam and Dan, he missed if he slipped through the school doors by 8:05. And then there was Jilly and Jan if he could juuuust make it in after 8:10. The optimal time was 8:20 but by then he would have missed 5 minutes of class already. Oh well, Freddy said to that.
Oh well was Freddy’s favorite phrase. On any number of occasions, during mostly any activities, you could catch young Freddy in the grips of the Oh Well philosophy. And this was a bit of an odd philosophy to be adopted by the member of the murderous Great White Shark family. Oh yes. Huge crooked teeth protruding out at all angles! Black, beady lifeless eyes that would send you straight to hell and out the other end if you were to just glance near their vicinity! He looked the part alright, but sadly he couldn’t play it. Freddy the Failure was the nickname, among others. Ah, but Freddy was a peaceful little guy. No back cartilage but a shark you could trust with a kitten or a glass light bulb for that matter. Freddy’s mom had decided to park herself and her son somewhere near the middle of the big Atlantic Ocean, the epicenter of the shark educational system. All of the best schools. Coral reef so upscale, Freddy’s mom had to forget all about her poor family background just to try and believe in this place. Being Head of the Underwater Academy can get you places, Places with a capital P. And so it was in this Place that Freddy morphed Freddy the Failure. Sharks were nothing if they could not catch their own feed by the early ages. They were nothing if they were too compassionate to kill or at least too shy to explain their reasoning in not doing so.
Ah, but today. As I stated earlier, it began a very average, sad and lonely day. Freddy timed it so he would arrive 2 minutes after the late bell, which would end up alright since he remembered to leave his books strewn about his desk the day before causing the illusion of his presence. He’d pretend he had gotten in early but had been in the men’s room during attendance. Score. Mother had gotten in very early and was too busy managing the morning nothings to notice her son’s ingenius. Double score. So the swimming was going pleasantly. The plankton going about the business of being rather thick and at the bottom of the food chain, were swimming in slow circles. Whales here and there, would say their low hellos. Freddy liked passing the whales. He could feel their huge vibrations and oddly enough, they would ease him before the tormenting school day.
This is becoming a gigantic post. This is becoming a freaking novel, jeez. Think I’ll leave it here for now and pick up when I don’t want to be so lazy….