Today’s prompt obviously written with the utmost sincerity, love, and devotion, not to mention the wisdom of a millenia’s worth of unborn baby Jesus’: I am looking for the best person in the world!!!!! (note the prompt writer’s utter enthusiasm) Tell me, why should I pick you? Win me over!
First of all prompt writer, I do not need to answer any meezly little question of any mortal’s, for I AM the greatest person in the world. I have blood lines running directly to the Gods. But I will tell you why, ony because, I was just getting ready to put these reasons in a song about myself. The people of the world need motivation to live after all, don’t they? (See where I rightly questioned YOU, mortal, right there?)
-I am too good to use the numerical system thought up by lesser beings…and my perfect fingers tire of typing such unneeded things) therefore I use dashes. Dashes are superior, they were invented by myself.
-I make mistakes when necessary, to save lesser mortals from adding any more faults onto their already mile-high heap.
-I am the wind.
-I am your wings and also the wind beneath them.
-I am the T to your titter, and the F to your fritter, and I do not whither hither in all your titters and fritters
-I am the only being to understand such sacred text as the previous statement.
I am afraid this list is ever ongoing so I cannot even begin to capture the essence of myself so as to begin to answer a question which is pretty obscene in it’s ignorance. My greatness has been taught in text books. Look me up.